One Hundred Years of FTX Mess, All Very Loud at the Crypto Front and 20 Crypto Jokes

This week in crypto, among the many, many FTX-related news: Sam Bankman-Fried was attempting to raise fresh capital in a bid to make customers whole, FTX-owned Liquid suspended withdrawals, BlockFi continued to pause withdrawals, but was then swept by the contagion along with Genesis and Gemini, and Ikigai admitted that it held “a large majority” of its assets on FTX. Genesis pausing services disrupted the Gopax exchange, and Tether said it had no exposure to Genesis Global and Gemini Earn. Charles Hoskinson said that more damage is coming from the FTX contagion, and Citi analyst Joseph Ayoub warned of serious contagion risks from the FTX implosion.

Then, Visa pulled the plug on the FTX partnership, and so did TSM and many others. Some coins were rallying during the FTX crypto crash, and while Berkshire Hathaway’s Vice Chairman Charlie Munger condemned cryptocurrencies, Michael Saylor said bitcoin would come out on top following the FTX collapse, Pantera Capital argued bitcoin would hit $150,000 in the first half of 2025, and Brad Garlinghouse said that the current crisis would make crypto stronger. Meanwhile, AAX suspended withdrawals for up to 10 days due to a “scheduled system upgrade.

As this was happening, Tom Brady and Larry David faced a class action for endorsing FTX, the police in the Bahamas launched an investigation into FTX, the Japanese government vowed to do all it can to protect customers of FTX Japan, and a government official said that the FTX collapse would not stop Hong Kong from becoming a virtual asset hub. We looked into whether the SEC chair Gary Gensler helped Sam Bankman-Fried find legal loopholes for FTX, while US Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said crypto markets need more ‘effective oversight’, and the US House Financial Services Committee planned to investigate the collapse of FTX. Also, the Terra audit showed BTC 80,000 worth $2.8 billion was used to defend the UST peg.  

Then we learned that MasterCard, Citigroup, and other global banking giants started a digital dollar pilot with the New York Federal Reserve. PlayStation may use NFTs as in-game assets, and Cristiano Ronaldo launched his NFT collection on Binance. In South Korea, an over-sixty-year-old stablecoin fraudster was jailed for six years, the police were investigating a crypto mining firm that allegedly failed to pay back its investors, and the financial regulator said it wanted to introduce auditing guidelines for crypto-related firms.

Let’s laugh at some carefully selected jokes now.

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Gooood morning, market!

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How’s everybody doing?

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Let’s check out the latest news.

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Anything else in the news? What say sources?

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Now, let’s hear from the man of the fortnight, SBF.

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Can we get more details, plz?

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A brilliant strategy.

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Evolution of philosophical thought.

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What hand?

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Finish him! I mean, it! Finish it!

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He might have said this… He said many things.

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Mammal of the order Chiroptera faeces mentally ill (aka batsh*t crazy).

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You know he will. He always will.

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Buuut, if you don’t eat at all, with the rise in food prices and drop in the BTC price – quite a bit! 

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It’s always the right time.

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Greeeeeen!

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Them spouses be patient!

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There, problem solved.

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Let’s go live to the scene of SBF attempting yet another FTX rescue.

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And here is a documentary on the crypto market, with a prediction by experts.