Bitcoin is Top Target, Exchange Heads are Summoned, Ban is Enforced and 20 Crypto Jokes

This week in crypto: Bitcoin remained the top target for institutional investors, a Bitcoin ordinals launchpad introduced a new BRC-69 standard promising 90% cost reduction, Ethereum users proposed ERC 7265 to thwart DeFi hacks, value locked in Solana’s liquid staking protocols surged by 91% in the first half of the year, Nasdaq resubmitted an application to list a bitcoin ETF by BlackRock, several other major players resubmitted their applications as well, and Bernstein said that there is a strong possibility that the US SEC would approve a spot BTC ETF. Revolut said it would halt the offering of SOL, ADA, and MATIC for US customers, while in Ireland, Harry Styles’ fans were introduced to blockchain rewards through a concert app. ApeCoin was going to zero as the Azuki drama sent NFT prices crashing, and Justin Bieber was down $1.2 million on his Bored Ape NFT.

Then, Australia’s financial regulator visited Binance offices as part of an ongoing probe into the company’s defunct local derivatives business, Binance said it would stop deposits and withdrawals of several cross-chain bridge tokens associated with Multichain, Brazilian lawmakers summoned the heads of Binance, Bitso, and OKX to parliament, Coinbase wanted to modernize its direct deposit system using blockchain-based stablecoin settlements, Bitget launched a new crypto lending program to let users stake their coins in exchange for loans in another, OKX signed a sponsorship deal with Manchester City to become its ‘official sleeve partner’. Huobi silently resolved a massive vulnerability that allegedly exposed user assets for two years, and a report found that $204 million was lost in DeFi hacks and scams in Q2 2023, while a hacker exploited Poly Network and swapped out nearly $10 million in ETH.

Meanwhile, South Korea’s FSC was investigating Delio for alleged fraud, embezzlement, and breach of trust, the FCA told all crypto firms in the UK to ‘get ready to comply’ by the October deadline, Denmark’s FSA directed Saxo Bank to dump its cryptocurrency holdings, Singapore issued new trust requirements to safeguard crypto investments and enforced the lending and staking ban for retail customers, Thailand joined Singapore among Southeast Asian countries to ban retail lending and staking services, and Belarus was set to ban peer-to-peer crypto ‘exchanges’.

In CBDC news, Chinese state-owned banks were set to join efforts to integrate the digital yuan with government-issued social security cards, DBS launched a digital yuan merchant collection solution for business clients, and Jinan said that all of its bus routes now accepted digital yuan pay, but hopes that China’s anti-crypto stance could change were crushed by the appointment of a known crypto-critic as PBoC official. As some claimed that Venezuela’s oil-pegged Petro coin may be ‘dead’, the Brazilian Central Bank uploaded a large collection of CBDC-related documents to GitHub, the Reserve Bank of India was talking with other countries about using the digital rupee for cross-border payments, and Hong Kong was exploring the idea of launching its stablecoin, HKDG, to rival the likes of USDT and USDC. Yet, Copper’s research head said that the current CBDC models are ‘not a viable cash equivalent that people could use in daily transactions’.

In the crime and legal world, two Canadian teens were charged for impersonating Coinbase Support to steal $4.2m in crypto, Taiwan noted a rise in bitcoin and ethereum use in bribery cases, and digital assets accounts and crypto celebrities on Twitter gained an ‘influx of fake followers’. Voyager creditors were charged $5.1 million for legal services between March-May, while Cameron Winklevoss put forth his “best and final offer” in the bankruptcy restructuring of Genesis.

Jokes time!

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GM, CT! How you feelin’?

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That seems like it’s going well.

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Why would you do that?! Why?!

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Let’s hear from expert analysts.

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Some more expert, analysis, and thorough research. 

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Now, let’s check on the sentiment.

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‘Like, huh?’

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All good. Perfectly fine.

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You know it won’t go away.

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We have so much fun occasionally.

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Which one are you?

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For the beginners who are wondering what this PoS thing is.

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If they knew that I used to be half-a-millionare…

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Pain.

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No worries, there’s some soup from the other week somewhere in there. 

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The bull. It’s always the bull.

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This one’s a classic. Also true.

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You know how this one feels.

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Don’t let them take away your dreams, clearly mentally disabled one!

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And lastly, your weekly documentary, based on true events with live footage.