Tether Chats, Breaching Hacks, Hostile Takeovers, Bitcoin Gurus and 20 Crypto Jokes

This week in crypto: Bitcoin was on the verge of a breakout towards $30,000, Bitcoin’s correlation to US equity markets fell to its lowest level in a year and a half, a long liquidations spike Bitcoin suffered the “sell the fact” reaction to the dovish US Fed, and outflows from investment funds backed by Bitcoin rose sharply last week. Telegram users got the ability to transfer USDT through chats, and Sony filed for a patent to make NFTs transferable between various games, devices, and consoles.

Circle CEO revealed that one of the company’s top executives that promised a USDC airdrop had been hacked, $1m worth of cryptocurrency was stolen from the AI-powered trading dapp Harvest Keeper, and ATM manufacturer General Bytes experienced a security breach with $1.5m worth of BTC stolen. Kraken will suspend automated clearinghouse deposits and withdrawals due to the closure of Silvergate Bank, Bitfinex CTO claimed that El Salvador’s long-awaited Bitcoin bonds would launch this year but that they might not be bonds after all, and an Aussie crypto exchange was eyeing Hong Kong expansion amid the favorable regulatory landscape. Speaking of which, Hong Kong saw massive interest from virtual asset-related firms as it pushed toward becoming a crypto hub, while a growing number of Chinese employees and firms can now use the digital yuan to pay their social insurance premiums and taxes.

US Supreme Court heard arguments in Coinbase’s efforts to push two class-action lawsuits against it into arbitration, Celsius account holders will be able to get back 72.5% of their holdings if they agree to a settlement plan, FTX asked a US bankruptcy judge to protect its property from the liquidators of its Bahamas unit, and Binance was taking increasing heat from regulators on multiple fronts. Meanwhile, a hostile takeover of DefiLlama could have been underway with an internal rift among key team members exposed.

A Bithumb official was under investigation on suspicion of taking bribes in exchange for a coin listing, a Bulgarian woman was extradited to the US for her involvement in the OneCoin crypto scheme, Venezuela’s President said he “purged mafia influences” from his government’s crypto regulators after overseeing the arrest of a former right-hand man, and Brazilian police swooped on what they said was a sex-themed crypto extortion ring.

The digital asset industry was slammed in a new report published by the US White House, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said that CBDCs would not be coming to this US state any time soon, the IRS considered treating NFTs as taxable collectibles, a top South Korean financial regulator denied reports that it would cooperate with the US on efforts to classify certain cryptos as securities, Belgium’s financial regulator outlined new crypto advertising laws that require firms to include a stark risk warning, and a Spanish lawmaker gave up politics with plans to become a crypto and blockchain guru instead.

And here is a selection of the best crypto jokes – just for you.

__________

GM, CT. What’s on your mind?

__

This famous actor is totally right.

__

Wen revenge rally?

__

That’s why you always wait for the dippity dip instead of the dip. Basic investing.

__

Let’s learn how to make money.

__

Anyway…. 

__

Boss.

__

It parks really well.

__

We had some legal firsts this week.

__

DeJay. 

__

‘Go into the brrrr mode, stat!’

__

Just change, really. 

__

A veritable time machine. Works only backward.

__

Anyone? There’s a ‘two deposits at the same time’ offer. 

__

Burn? Burn.

__

Burn? Yup, definitely, burn.

__

Legend has it that Kron is still waiting for his rocks.

__

Was there ever really the first one? Had anybody actually seen it?

__

You see, kids, you can easily scam too.

__

And for the end, a documentary.